Short Circuit

My brain has stopped working. Last night I had several instances when a simple word or phrase stayed just outside the reaches of my intellect. And yes, it's that  time of the month, so my theory is my body is putting all it's energy into BABIES*, and if high school taught us anything, the less a girl thinks, the more likely she is to get pregnant.

In my daily online wanderings, however, I found this amazing website.

Basically, the idea behind it is that we constantly berate ourselves for not being as perfect as the rest of the planet. You browse through Etsy, read about other people's creations, or watch your husband create amazing jewelry, and it's easy to see your own stuff as not good enough.

Now, the simple answer is a definite possibility: your stuff isn't good enough. It doesn't come without it's share of pain. Trust me. Because when I say your I actually mean mine. I am the queen of mediocrity. I don't want to be mediocre, I want to be great. But I'm beginning to accept that great may not be in my reality. Why not be happy with mediocre?

The real question here is: do you enjoy creating? If the answer is no, you're doing something wrong. If the answer is yes, who else really matters? I've never been popular, I've never been the prettiest, or the smartest, or the best at anything. But I enjoy myself nonetheless. So who cares if there's someone better out there? The point is enjoy.

 So, here's the challenge (and this comes directly from the website), make something ugly. Set out with the intention to make the most hideous thing you can think of.








Then, try to make it even uglier.





 
Now, I had a quick flick through some of the photos people had posted of their ugly creations, and there was one thing in particular that stood out to me: nearly all of them were creatures and not things.

Is it because people see an ugly inside of themselves and have a desire to purge that bit of themselves out? Or is it simply that it's much easier to create an ugly someone instead of a something.



Or maybe I'm getting way too deep for this early in the morning.

Happy (ugly) crafting!

Attack of the ties

Yes, I've failed in my duty. It isn't that I haven't been doing stuff....it's more that I haven't stopped doing stuff long enough to write about the stuff I'm doing!

That, and playing games on Facebook. There really should be some sort of group therapy for that sort of thing.

But I do so love my attack posts, and since this weekend is a very special weekend in the States, I couldn't miss the opportunity. So, this one's for you, Dad!

What's more traditional for Father's Day than a gift of a tie?

I'm pretty sure there's some sort of symbolism in that. Like a noose tightening around your throat. The end of reckless abandon, the beginning of a lifetime of servitude to the little people who have taken charge of your life.









Or possibly it's just to keep your neck warm.


I think this would look much better in bright primary colors.

With white face paint.

And a rainbow wig.

And a flower that squirts water.






But perhaps your dad hasn't yet been corrupted by the corporate machine that pays for your food, shelter, educational future, concert tickets....

That's ok, too! We've got him covered.








Well, halfway at least.

 Or perhaps he's a nature lover.

The great thing about these ties is that you don't have to buy him a separate bottle of cologne! They come complete with the smell of wood shavings and paint thinner rubbed right in.









Of course, let's not forget dad's feet. There's no reason dad's footwear can't be both comfortable and stylish.

Which brings me to the versatility of the semi-forgotten accessory- the bow tie.

 Pair it with a matching vest and your dad doesn't need to shout from the rooftops that his hot, his impeccable fashion sense will do it for him.












Bow ties are also a great way for dad to show off his hobbies.

Be it a gambling addiction.










Spending hours on the water drinking beer claiming to be attempting to catch dinner.













Or singing Queen songs at karaoke night. 

 Because, let's not forget, bow ties are cool.














Or perhaps your dad, like mine, doesn't wear ties at all. Even really cool bow ties.

That's ok, give him wall art instead!

Whenever the sun streams in through the window to hit this homage to hommes, he'll be thinking about you as he squints, trying to see the tv in vain.

Just don't expect to be mentioned in the will.

 I have a soft spot in my heart for single parents, they have to be both parents. So, single moms, you don't get left out either!

Sorry.

We seem to have gone back to the whole circus theme again. Maybe it has something to do with that incessant whining from the smallish people in the house that the sole purpose of a parent is to constantly provide entertainment on demand.










Of course, what holiday would be complete without a hideous knitted sweater?














 Especially for my dad.

I love you!







Happy Father's Day!

Keeping warm

Outside my window this morning it's a world of white. Well, more of a platinum or silver. No, it's not snow, thank goodness, it's just rainy, misty, drizzly, crap weather. So I'm sitting here in direct line from the heater with my coffee and a candle going to help me stay positive....looking at pictures of when crafts attack.

And you know who doesn't have the benefit of coming indoors to get warm when the icy weather descends on the world like a hawk descends on a gopher? 

That's right, trees!

I'll bet you never give a thought about the trees in your garden out there shivering in the elements. 

Although, I'm not sure humiliating them is much better. I'll bet this tree goes home with a black eye after school and a nickname that will follow it for the rest of it's life.

For a tree that's way worse because they can live for a very long time!



Now, I can hear the snickering from the northern hemisphere crowd. Y'all are heading into summer. Heat waves, days at the beach, picnics in the park, and....

 backyard bar-b-ques!

When that summer sun dips below the horizon, the temperature can drop quite quickly and it's good to have a stylish wrap handy at such a time.

Won't you just be the life of the neighborhood watch party in this get-up?

But even before the sun dips down, you can be sure to stay stylin' all summer long!




There's just no words for this.








And hey! Let's not forget the kids! I know school is out in some areas, but being from California, school always went until just before Father's Day. So, I know that some schools must still be in prom season. And for all of you who are past prom season, here's an idea for next year:






Because, you know, those strapless dresses can get quite chilly late at night, and as long as you keep your wrist warm with this lovely corsage, you'll be just fine to dance the night away!









Happy crafting!