Attack of the ties

Yes, I've failed in my duty. It isn't that I haven't been doing stuff....it's more that I haven't stopped doing stuff long enough to write about the stuff I'm doing!

That, and playing games on Facebook. There really should be some sort of group therapy for that sort of thing.

But I do so love my attack posts, and since this weekend is a very special weekend in the States, I couldn't miss the opportunity. So, this one's for you, Dad!

What's more traditional for Father's Day than a gift of a tie?

I'm pretty sure there's some sort of symbolism in that. Like a noose tightening around your throat. The end of reckless abandon, the beginning of a lifetime of servitude to the little people who have taken charge of your life.









Or possibly it's just to keep your neck warm.


I think this would look much better in bright primary colors.

With white face paint.

And a rainbow wig.

And a flower that squirts water.






But perhaps your dad hasn't yet been corrupted by the corporate machine that pays for your food, shelter, educational future, concert tickets....

That's ok, too! We've got him covered.








Well, halfway at least.

 Or perhaps he's a nature lover.

The great thing about these ties is that you don't have to buy him a separate bottle of cologne! They come complete with the smell of wood shavings and paint thinner rubbed right in.









Of course, let's not forget dad's feet. There's no reason dad's footwear can't be both comfortable and stylish.

Which brings me to the versatility of the semi-forgotten accessory- the bow tie.

 Pair it with a matching vest and your dad doesn't need to shout from the rooftops that his hot, his impeccable fashion sense will do it for him.












Bow ties are also a great way for dad to show off his hobbies.

Be it a gambling addiction.










Spending hours on the water drinking beer claiming to be attempting to catch dinner.













Or singing Queen songs at karaoke night. 

 Because, let's not forget, bow ties are cool.














Or perhaps your dad, like mine, doesn't wear ties at all. Even really cool bow ties.

That's ok, give him wall art instead!

Whenever the sun streams in through the window to hit this homage to hommes, he'll be thinking about you as he squints, trying to see the tv in vain.

Just don't expect to be mentioned in the will.

 I have a soft spot in my heart for single parents, they have to be both parents. So, single moms, you don't get left out either!

Sorry.

We seem to have gone back to the whole circus theme again. Maybe it has something to do with that incessant whining from the smallish people in the house that the sole purpose of a parent is to constantly provide entertainment on demand.










Of course, what holiday would be complete without a hideous knitted sweater?














 Especially for my dad.

I love you!







Happy Father's Day!